Don't Label Me

I was recently at a family wake for my Uncle Merrulo. My uncle proudly served as the representative for the 32 district. Up until the end Merullo had a whip-like wit which would wear waffling Wisconsinites down and ground his opponents into hamburger beef. While he ran as a Elephant, due to the slant of his district, he confided in me he always thought of himself as a independent. When I asked if he had ever voted for a Democrat, or any bill brought forth by a Democrat he told me he would have if they ever had a good idea or candidate.
I've had time to mull this over and for the first time in my life, I really understand where Representative Merrulo was coming from. People have thrown labels at me and in the past I've just accepted them. But they never FELT true to who I am. I mean what is a serial killer anyway?

Politics aside, a damn good clown

 Yes, I've killed multiple people, 10 or 20 or so, and yes each murder took place after a cooling off period. But why does the time period in between murders matter? Isn't all time just perception anyway? Besides, killing a bunch of people at once is the wheel house of the mass murder lobby like Timothy McVeigh or the ATF. And don't even get me started on those nut jobs. You wanna talk about ideological inconsistencies, read some of Tim's rantings, or try and parse the by-laws the average ATF agent has to abide.
I prefer to think of myself as a death enthusiast. No I'm not pro-serial killer, I mean they're just as bad as the rest. And I disagree with them on many issues. Why limit yourself just to brunette women? Or gay men? Or children? We live in the great melting pot experiment of America, how about you branch out a bit? And what's with the OCD level routines before killing someone? I pride myself of my open-mindedness and flexibility.  I've used knives, shovels and ropes. One time I even bludgeoned an old lady to death with a bunch of hard candy which was stuck together in a bowl. I tossed the candy in a lake outside her house. I kept the bowl though, it has a lovely paisley pattern on the inside which perfectly matches my arm chair made out of...well...you know.

At least the uniform is friendly

 The truth is serial killers are in the pockets of BIG DEATH just as much as any other group (Tobacco, Firearms, Alcohol, Air wicks). Sure they seem organic, self contained, but did you know the Koch brothers bought John Wayne Gacy's house for him and even paid to have the floorboards sanded and coated? Or that Ted Turner used to pay for Ted Bundy to get pore cleansing facials once a month? I mean how unbiased can you expect someone to be when political players like those are writing the checks?
If you recall my Uncle and his voting record, you might say the same applies to me. If your not a serial killer when was the last year you went without killing someone? Touché mon ami. I can't for the life of me (or my victims for that matter~!) remember the last year I didn't contribute to the cause of death. But should I be punished for consistency? Just because I routinely commit murder and defile and eat the corpses of my victims, doesn't make me some sick bureaucrat like Jeffrey Dahmer. I am a proud and independent Death Enthusiast. The choices I make aren't what matters, what I say and believe makes me what I am.
Feel free to post unfair labels (democrat/gypsy/felon) you are trying to shed in the comments!